our God is a consuming fire.

10:30 pm
So, it's day 21. I don't really want to write about anything other than the awesomeness of God today though. Therefore- this blog doesn't get a day number.

God has been doing absolutely amazing things in my life recently. He's made Himself so evident that it just purely amazes me. With that being said- this blog is dedicated to giving my testimony and thanking God for what He's doing right now.

I got saved when I was 9 years old. A lot of people argue that a child of that age can't comprehend the gospel- however, I disagree. Not to say I didn't get into things as I got older- nothing too horrible, but I was a teenager. There were trials- my dad, grandma, and several of my family members got cancer. For those of you who don't know the dynamics of my family my dad and grandma are two of the most important and influential people in my life, and my entire family is extremely close. This had an enormous impact on me. At a young age I was faced with losing a very big part of me. This was when things started to head down hill. Of course I prayed for them, but there was always that burning "why" question in the back of my mind. This is when I started to depend on relationships. The faith and trust I would put in guys replaced my desire for God. The closeness of having someone physically here when everything in my world was turned upside down was all I wanted. Even after they all got better, this pattern still continued. I yearned for that one relationship where I could have God and what I wanted from a boyfriend.
January of 2011 rolled around and I met Kody (the infamous guy from nearly all of my blogs). I honestly thought he was the one for me. This isn't meant to bash him at all- he was a good guy and if you're reading this I pray for you every day. I pray for your testimony to others, that you'll be a light to them, and for your relationship. With that being said- we met and everything seemed too good to be true. I picked up my life and moved two times, and quit two jobs all for what I thought was a love that would never go away. What happened to this love? It's not there anymore. I put SO much into it and put it above the One who is supposed to be the world to me. What does God say about this?

Jonah 2:8 - Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God's love for them.

I had completely turned away from God's love.  Even though I was dating a pastor I had all but stopped going to church and my life was in a downward spiral. I wasn't trying to please God. I was trying to please the flesh and impress the world. Kody and our relationship had become my idol- the one thing I would do anything for. The truth is though ALL love goes away except for that of Christ. I'm not saying our parents, friends, etc stop loving us. But when they pass or are not around, who will love us then? God does and He always will.

So where does this leave me now? Back in Jonah-
Jonah 2:9 But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to You. What I have vowed I will make good, I will say, Salvation comes from the LORD.

I have to be thankful for all of the things that I've gone through within the past year. Even though I stumbled at points- God is good and He is gracious. Had I not left home and been left on my own I might not would have ever gotten to where I am right now. And I can't help but praise God for the bad times.

Today in itself a huge need was met. I was so taken back and overwhelmed all I could do for a solid twenty minutes is cry in thankfulness.
I've been doing a lot of praying regarding moving back home. It's been up in the air until this Sunday- JD spoke about us as believers having a heart for the lost. It completely broke my heart in two thinking about the unsaved loved ones that I have. It became glaringly clear to me in that service that God is calling me to go back home and talk non-stop about the good things He's doing in my life and in this area.
As far as dating goes- I'm still very much so "on the market" and plan on being that way for awhile. I'm still asking God not to let me have a heart for anyone except my future husband. So far I've had several opportunities to go out- several opportunities to start new relationships. However, I'm so content in God right now I have absolutely no desire to be tied down to anyone. I'm so pleased in my relationship with Him that I don't want another one. Marriage use to be a big thing for me. I wanted to settle down and have a family started by 21. Now though, as I said, I'm fully content in Christ and am so thankful for that. It's so amazing how God can change our wants and desires to what He wants and has planned for us.

Our God is consuming fire. A burning holy flame with glory and freedom. Our God is the only righteous judge ruling over us with kindness and wisdom. A mighty fortress is our God. A sacred refuge is Your Name. Your kingdom is unshakable. With You forever we will reign.  

For those of you reading this that may be going through your own trial- I want to leave you with some scripture that helped me:

²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

 ²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

-Romans 8:26-28

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

-Jeremiah 29:11

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-Romans 8:38-39

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless Babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

'Til on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live, I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From a life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Could ever pluck me from His hand

Til He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I stand

I will stand, I will stand

All other ground is sinking sand

All other ground, all other ground

Is sinking sand, is sinking sand

So I stand