Friday, July 27, 2012

home is where the heart is.

Most people who are reading this know that for the past few months I've been living back at home. There's been a lot of mixed emotions that have accompanied this summer. There have been times I was glad to be away from the city, and there have been times all I wanted to do was run back to Raleigh. All in all, I've discovered exactly where I need to be, which is right where I'm sitting- on my bed in the apartment. I wish for the life of me I could enjoy being in the country all the time and always be surrounded by family. But, unfortunately, that's not the case. Part of the reason I went home was to hopefully discover where I needed to be. After moving up here in such a rush, I thought maybe I just over looked everything about home.
As I crossed into Raleigh last night there was a huge sense of belonging and excitement. This is something I've looked for my whole life. While I love my friends and family back home, I've never felt like I really fit in. I've never liked the same music, never had the same hobbies, never liked the same type of guys, and never wanted the country lifestyle. Not that there's anything wrong with any of that- it's just never been for me. For example: I've just recently started liking country music, I absolutely abhor hunting, huge trucks and country accents are not attractive in any way, shape, or form to me, and I don't like having to drive half an hour to the nearest Walmart. It's a lot more simple out there than it is up here. Maybe that's why I like it- maybe I need a complicated lifestyle because I'm complicated. I don't know.
What I do know, though, is that I'm not just content here. I'm happy. 
I love my parent's and the home they raised me in. I'm so grateful for everything they have given me over the years. I have amazing memories from Jamesville. But this- this is MY home. This is MY city. I may have grown up in Martin County. But I grew up in Raleigh. 
With that, I can say this was my last summer in Jamesville. The last time I'll live at home.
As it draws to an end, it's bittersweet. I love my folks and will miss them. But I know Raleigh is where I'm supposed to be. And I love that.




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